Stoner Sex: Big Dreams, Small Dicks, Dry Spells & Bottoming from the Top

Dear Hyapatia,

My old man won’t grow up. He is in his late 30’s, and he plays guitar, and he still thinks that one of these days he is going to be a famous guitar player in a big band that tours the world. It is a nice pipe dream. I like to dream big too, but after all this time and at this age, I would have thought that he would have realized it just isn’t going to happen. It might be different if we lived in New York, or LA, or even Nashville, but we don’t. We are in a small nowhere place, and people just don’t get discovered in places like this. I don’t want to bring him down with reality, but I think it is time he started planning on a life that doesn’t include playing in stadiums. I am tired of him putting everything off because he might make it big. That is no way to live. How can I make him wake up and smell the coffee? — Jen

Dear Jen,

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Will This Town Be the East Coast’s Newest Pot Destination?

Days after Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker signed a new recreational marijuana bill into law, several officials at last week’s Easthampton, Massachusetts Planning Board meeting said they would “support a strong, thriving legal cannabis trade there,” making it the next potential pot tourist town.

Planning Board chairman Jesse Belcher-Timme opened the floor to over an hour of public discussion. The meeting addressed a myriad of concerns expressed by both sides of the issue.

“There was some concern expressed about this becoming a marijuana destination city,” said board member Christopher Cockshaw. “I don’t think that’s a bad idea. That’s kind of wonderful. I’m OK with that.”

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Kanye West’s Insurance Claims Weed Caused Last Year’s Massive Meltdown

2016 was a weird year for us all. It was much weirder for Kanye West.

There he was, chained to a floating stage, flying across America during the Saint Pablo tour—the “greatest rap tour of all time,” as the Daily Dot gushed—Yeezus literally hovering over massive crowds packing the country’s biggest arenas.

And then there he was, standing on a floating stage, supporting Donald Trump’s border wall and endorsing Donald Trump—that is, had Kanye bothered to vote—and standing up fans in L.A., canceling a make-up show a few hours before it was set to begin and walking out of a show in Sacramento after just a half hour, most of which was spent yelling about Jay Z, Beyonce, Obama, Hillary—whoever, whatever.

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Cinema Stoner: The Dark Tower vs. Half-Ounce Mega-Brownie

Midway through the wacky sci-fi nonsense of Stephen King’s The Dark Tower, injured protagonist Idris Elba acquires a grip of painkillers. Advised not to take the pills at once, the grim-jawed Elba immediately swallows the handful.

I could relate. Two hours previous, I had eaten a half-ounce mega-brownie the size of my face. A fan of King’s noirish cross-dimensional cowboy fantasy novels since childhood, I kept imagining watching The Dark Tower while unable to critically respond. Ultimately a garbage adaptation of this epic tale about a neo-futuristic gunslinger (Idris Elba) hunting an evil demi-god (Matthew McConaughey), The Dark Tower is only to be viewed under the following conditions.

From the tiny weed shack Ganja Vita, I bought a full ounce of Cascade Growers’ Tangie Sativa for $60. The flower smoked like a rusty nail, but burned down into a nice murky oil using my bulletproof edible recipe. I baked a half-ounce into a single brownie I dubbed “The Oathbreaker.” As I ate the edible, my mind kept saying, “Stop eating this.”

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Radical Rant: Marijuana Is Illegal and You Can Get in Trouble Over It

You’re probably reading that title and thinking, “Uh, yeah, no kidding—that’s why we’re fighting to legalize marijuana.”

But over the past couple of weeks, it has become clear to me that some people who jump on the bandwagon to fight for our marijuana rights don’t recognize this plain and simple fact.

So, let’s make it perfectly clear: Except for some states’ laws, marijuana is illegal and you can get in trouble over it.

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The Rise of Cannabis Journalism

While the rest of the journalism industry struggles, cannabis-related publications are experiencing an upward trend.

The world has lost a lot of great newspapers over the last decade, but one place the art of journalism is alive and well is covering America’s fastest growing industry — cannabis.

As with other adult pastimes like micro-brewing and cigars, pot journalism is here to stay, and it’s more localized than it’s ever been before. It’s also more dynamic; today’s newsrooms cover every nook and cranny of the cannabis industry as it makes its way to the light. Journalists are not just covering the strains and policies, but also the problems of the emerging market, ranging from pesticides to general low-quality pot someone from Wall Street thinks is “the fire.”

Read more at Cannabis Now

Everyone’s Gone Phishin’

Photo Courtesy of Steph Port Photography.

For the uninitiated, getting high does not have to include the use of drugs. Sure, smoking a few joints or taking a couple of dabs is a fast and easy way to get there. But the truth of the matter is that there are many ways to achieve the coveted blissful state of happiness and contentment.

Children do it unknowingly at young ages, spinning in circles until their hearts race with an eruption of giggles. Whirling dervishes, hula hoopers and many forms of dancing follow the same idea of arriving at that blissful state with repeated movement or sound. Even the repetition of running can provide the very same high, known simply as a “runners high.” Chanting and song can also bring this same sense of higher enlightenment and bliss. 

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Get Lit: Blend’s Data Reveals How Millennials Talk about Weed

Photo by Javier Hasse.

This article was originally published on Benzinga and adapted exclusively for HIGH TIMES.

Blend is a group-messaging app with a focus on content. By adding bots into its chat interface, the company is looking to tap into the “AI revolution,” joining tech giants of the likes of Apple, Snap Inc. and Facebook.

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Can I Touch the Buds? (Probably Not)

A dispensary etiquette and buying guide for doob noobs.

You probably wouldn’t even notice the storefront if it weren’t for the unobtrusive security guard standing watch at the front door. You watch as the sentinel interacts with people approaching the door, granting access to some and denying it to others.

Is there some password you have to know? Have you stumbled upon the gateway of a secret society? Not exactly, but that’s almost what it seems like for someone who’s never walked through the front door of a cannabis dispensary.

Read more at Cannabis Now

Induction Heating: Rice Cookers, Welders… Now Vapes?

Induction heating has limited every-day applications, aside from melting pesky bolts or as a convenient way to cook rice. However, one small company has done what others had deemed impossible—they’ve gotten this technology into a handheld vaporizer.

Discovered in 1831 by Michael Faraday, said to be the “father of electromagnetism,” the inductive effect saw one of its first uses melting scrap metal in a smelter in England.

Induction heaters, such as those found on stovetops or rice cookers, pass very high frequency alternating current through a metallic object, generating eddy currents of electrons that can heat it to high temperatures very quickly. This technology seems ripe for vaporizers, so why has it taken so long for this to become a reality?

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