Toasted Tweets | Aug. 16, 2017

It’s all the rage, have you heard? Moms smoke pot now. Yeah, like no doi! Many of our moms have at least experimented with it because pot is super-mellow, and is easy to get your hands on. And it’s fun and (relatively) inexpensive. Now, with legalization, moms are struggling to smoke with the same rights as all. Dig into the conversation via our collection of Toasted Tweets. But definitely get high first, because this shit is wild, funny, weird, interesting and goes deep.

“Moms who smoke pot. Their controversial story tonight!” Are you covering “moms who have wine with dinner”? No? Then stfu.

— Susan Arendt 🃏 (@SusanArendt) August 1, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | Aug. 9, 2017

Marijuana is an incredible herb, drug, weed, plant, creation, shrub, aperitif, what have you. And amazing, wonderful, weird things happen when you smoke it. For one, many get a euphoric feeling and a vibe of peace and love falls over them. Some people get other results; I’m mostly interested in the aforementioned feeling. It’s awesome. That’s not crazy, that’s just what happens to some people when they smoke pot. But sometimes, really weird or crazy or odd or stupid or funny or shady things happen when people smoke weed. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, nothing weird happens at all. A really giant Scooby Doo-sized sandwich is made, and Netflix or bed is involved. What’s the craziest thing that happened the last time YOU got high?

Weed makes you crazy? Lol. The craziest thing I’ve done high was tryna cook a full meal.

— sunshine (@JusDahl) August 19, 2014

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Toasted Tweets | Aug. 2, 2017

It’s pretty incredible what you can find on Twitter, which is one of the reasons I love it so much. A quick perusal will offer artwork, music, jokes, poetry, photography, thoughts, information, news, recipes, charts, memes, even the president unraveling. I mean, you can pretty much find anything on Twitter, often without really looking too hard. This is what happened when I searched the hashtag #StonedSelfie. A lot of people like to share their high AF faces with the world and I appreciate that. So I thought I’d share some of the most high-ass people floating out in the Twitterverse. Go on, share your own #StonedSelfie. You KNOW you want to!

“excuse me, officer, i didn’t know i could do that.” @ensmingerBiz #stonedselfie #whiteprivilege

— Mike Finnegan (@mfinnegan33) August 11, 2015

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Toasted Tweets | July 26, 2017

What pairs better than weed with a fine wine? Are there sommeliers yet who have made it their business to match the perfect chardonnay with the dankest sativa? When I used to drink and smoke back in the day, I never knew how to balance the right amount of pot and the right amount of weed, and I’d just end up getting the stupid god-awful spins. Now, I know to combat the spins: you should lie down with one foot on the ground, and if you’re moving, trace the telephone poles up and down with your eyes. I don’t know why these tricks work, but they do. Anyway, merlot and marijuana—here’s what the internet has to say about this potentially hazardous, but mostly quite enticing pairing of two of God’s most wonderful creations.

Weed and wine go wonderfully together

— amber mack (@Sundevil_94) July 16, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | July 19, 2017

Nature and weed are two peas in a pot—er, pod. Don’t you love the sounds of crickets chirping while staring out into the wilderness, wondering about how we got this far as a species and how we messed up so bad and oh no, is there any way back to how it was like when our grandparents were kids and the world was safe and wait, doesn’t Sasquatch live out here somewhere, I wonder if he smokes pot and if he’s dangerous at all or just a misunderstood dude with giant hairy feet who wanders the countryside—wait a minute, let’s take a deep breath and mellow OUT, man. This is supposed to be a nice chill indica buzz. Everything is ok. We go camping to get away from all the crazy stuff back in the real world, and when we do, we take extra herb (or maybe find some growing in the wild if we’re lucky!). Here are a bunch of stoned crunchy folk who decided to see just how well pot and camping get along. By the way, the answer is really well for some and for others, NAH BRUH.

I just wanna get camping-stoned, go tubing down the river, while listening to 60/70’s hippie music

— Paigey (@PandorasFox) August 7, 2013

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Toasted Tweets | July 12, 2017

To be or not to be… stoned? Are high people into Shakespeare? I bet they are. I mean like, not en masse. But to generalize, the Shakespeare kids were the good kids in school—the ones who brought teachers gifts and did volunteer work by choice, or to bolster their resumes, not because it was a way to get out of study hall. They didn’t seem likely to fall down the rabbit hole into Alice’s weed emporium. Yet, college is a porthole to Potlandia, and it was there, in the bosom of the guise of getting a better education, did many Shakespeare lovers learn of the joys of getting high and reading the great bard’s great works. Do bud shake and Shakespeare in fact, intertwine? Toke up and read on to find out.

“My desire is not to know about weed..’tis to smoke it ✏️” -Shakespeare

— DoNormaal (@donormaalright) June 30, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | July 5, 2017

We smoked this week because we wanted to, not because everyone is doing it. We smoked because we can—because we are a free country where we the people decide on the laws of this land, which by the way, was made for you and me. We are a country where  freedom rings, smoke rings and where we can stand around a barbecue and puff on a spliff, pipe or vape in relative peace. This is Amerijuanica, and we are all welcome here. We have a long and storied tradition of puffing on a peace pipe. So pass one lovingly to your neighbor in celebration of our country: Amerijuanica The Beautiful. Here’s what’s on Twitter’s mind regarding our fruited plains.

I find it funny how marijuana is illegal in the majority of America when the Declaration of Independence was written on hemp

— brooklyn (@tg_brookk) December 26, 2015

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Toasted Tweets | June 28, 2017

Turns out a lot of y’all online shop when you’re stoned. What do you buy? Never mind, Twitter told me. Everything from candy to clothes to… ? They said marijuana could save the economy but they didn’t elaborate. Now it’s clear! So next time you get high, keep your laptop and credit card nearby and be sure to continue to help save the financial state of our country, one weird, high purchase at a time. Here are a few ideas to get you started: How about some color bath drops? Or those gargoyles you’ve been meaning to get? Or something called Annoying Orange? Have fun!

went on an online shopping spree stoned and I don’t wanna talk about it

— Marinna Teixeira (@marinnateixeira) June 15, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | June 21, 2017

Happy Father’s Day, bruh. So many honored dad by making him breakfast in bed, giving him socks or a tie rack or maybe washing the family car. But some of us showed our sense of family with sinsemilla. This week’s Toasted Tweets finds sentiments by Tweetists who smoked with dad, without dad, were busted by dad, recounted memories about dad and pot and more. The bottom line is, here is a series of thoughts about dads and pot. Dad, this bud’s for you.

my dad just showed me how to air out my room so my mom wouldn’t smell the weed lmfaooo I love him

— monica (@okayt0rres) May 25, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | June 14, 2017

Stoned stock? No, I’m not talking about infused chicken soup, though that sounds good as heck! I’m talking about investing in marijuana. It’s one thing to spend money on weed—it’s another thing to put your money into weed. Your mom might even approve, depending on the kind of mom you have. Here are tweets by some people who have invested, are considering investing, are behind the pot and pot products you might invest in, and are hoping to see some high dividends. If you make any money investing in the pot-stalk market, don’t forget to send a little green my way. By the way, what pot stocks should weedy-minded folk invest in? Tweet your thoughts to @jessicadelfino.

I get more calls about investing in pot & #bitcoin than stocks now & days. I don’t know what that is saying. Maybe start a pot bitcoin etf?

— Ross Gerber (@GerberKawasaki) May 25, 2017

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