Toasted Tweets | June 21, 2017

Happy Father’s Day, bruh. So many honored dad by making him breakfast in bed, giving him socks or a tie rack or maybe washing the family car. But some of us showed our sense of family with sinsemilla. This week’s Toasted Tweets finds sentiments by Tweetists who smoked with dad, without dad, were busted by dad, recounted memories about dad and pot and more. The bottom line is, here is a series of thoughts about dads and pot. Dad, this bud’s for you.

my dad just showed me how to air out my room so my mom wouldn’t smell the weed lmfaooo I love him

— monica (@okayt0rres) May 25, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | June 14, 2017

Stoned stock? No, I’m not talking about infused chicken soup, though that sounds good as heck! I’m talking about investing in marijuana. It’s one thing to spend money on weed—it’s another thing to put your money into weed. Your mom might even approve, depending on the kind of mom you have. Here are tweets by some people who have invested, are considering investing, are behind the pot and pot products you might invest in, and are hoping to see some high dividends. If you make any money investing in the pot-stalk market, don’t forget to send a little green my way. By the way, what pot stocks should weedy-minded folk invest in? Tweet your thoughts to @jessicadelfino.

I get more calls about investing in pot & #bitcoin than stocks now & days. I don’t know what that is saying. Maybe start a pot bitcoin etf?

— Ross Gerber (@GerberKawasaki) May 25, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | June 7, 2017

Getting high correctly requires a few things: good pot and some paraphernalia, good company and good music. There are other little things here and there which make it that much more awesome, but those are the main necessities for an A+ buzz. I’m an old-school woodland fairy so my favorite stoner music includes the likes of Led Zeppelin, Bob Seger and pretty much anything they might play on say, New England classic rock radio. What do you like to listen to when you get high, Twitter? Here’s what you said.

I’m so high listening to queen I’m so happy

— Brujo🥑 (@RamunNoodles) May 28, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | May 31, 2017

Let’s play a pot smoking game. It’s called, “I’m the kind of pot smoker who…” and it goes like this—you read a tweet and if that’s you, you toke. If it’s not you, skip a round. If you’re smoking alone and it’s not you, take 2 puffs. Do the kids still say puffs? But seriously, what kind of pot smoker are you, anyway? Are you an Einsteinian smoker? Do you get stoned and study and clean your room? Or are you Iron Eyes Cody in the ’70s litter commercial of potheads? You know, the kind who smokes weed but only on a mountaintop or in a waterfall and then praises the bounty before you? Or maybe you’re a weed gremlin—around midnight, you smoke an eighth and order a pizza, Chinese food and eat whatever’s in the fridge. Here’s a collection of some of the other kinds of smokers who linger out there.

I’m the kind of person in the weed circle who asks “do you guys hate me?” Thus why I smoke alone.

— NIHILIST (@mattdfuckery) March 2, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | May 24, 2017

What kind of a space do you envision when thinking about people smoking pot? A grassy field? The passenger seat of a car? An old barn? Where’s the coolest place you ever smoked weed? The weirdest place? The most inappropriate? When we were kids, we used to smoke pot in any secret locale we could get our feet to. A lot of pot smoking happened in the woods, on the beaches and other nature spots because there was no one around to tell us we couldn’t be there. The deer and sea birds never seemed to mind, and who knows, maybe they ate the seeds and stems we left behind. When pot smoking happened indoors, it was usually in a car or in an attic or basement or a bathroom (with the window open, of course). Or during parties when there were no parents around. I don’t even know where kids go to smoke weed these days. I do smell a lot of pot on the streets of NYC, so maybe no one goes anywhere to smoke pot, they just smoke their doobie where they do be. And with vaporizers it’s more common to smoke wherever the hell you damn well please. Where do you toke? Tweet @jessicadelfino.

I smoked weed in a castle today, what did you do?

— Stephen Quincy (@FREEIPODBOT) May 10, 2016

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Toasted Tweets | May 17, 2017

I love pot as much as the next lady but yeah, it makes you say and do some kinda stupid things sometimes. Who hasn’t smoked a bowl before a bath, forgot the bath tub was running and then decided to draw, until they heard water hitting the bathroom floor? No one else? The stupidest thing I ever experienced while high was, one time a friend of mine ate a pot cookie and then insisted he was dying and made me drive him to the hospital at 1 am. It was about a 20 minute drive normally but took almost an hour because I was driving about 25 mph the whole way. Then once we got there, we both fell asleep in the car, woke up at 7 am and drove home. What kind of dumb shit did pot make you (or ahem, “a friend”) do? Twitter, I’m looking at you! Literally. Here are 10 dumb things done by high people that they shared on Twitter.

i cant believe i ordered 9 boxes of hamburger helper last night while high as fuck

— lady snowbüssy (@plantaunt) March 18, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | May 10, 2017

What do you do when you get high? Walk around in nature? Watch Netflix? Eat your favorite snacks? Go to work? Some of us like to break out in craft. The markers and paints and paper and decoupage and jewelry making supplies and whatnots just start flying off their allotted shelves and into the workspace because the creativity can not and will not be contained! Let’s see what incredible art and ability the Twitterverse has got up their sleeves that our spirit guide, mother marijuana, helps us release into the world. And don’t forget to tweet your stoned art to me @jessicadelfino because unlike your mom, I actually want to see it.

i got high and made this vine for you last night

— kc grəən (@kcgreenn) February 11, 2016

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Toasted Tweets | May 4, 2017

We love pot and we love to invent things! What happens when you smash the two together? We get marijuana-infused food, knickknacks and tchotchkes, ideas, medicine, tools and more. Here are a few of my brill pot inventions (we all have them!): pot-infused iced tea, paper made of pot, pot plastic (instead of whatever nasty shit they make plastic out of now)… eh, maybe I’ll just leave the inventing to the pros, or at least to the geniuses of Twitter. Enjoy, become inspired and tweet your own pot-ventions to @jessicadelfino.

Marijuana water, I call it TH2O.

— lil goat (@itsamimzy) May 3, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | April 27, 2017

Food and pot–it’s the new peanut butter and jelly. This goes way beyond edibles. We’re talking chicken permagrin parmesan, Chilean sea buzz and gourmet pot-za. Sommeliers are even getting in on the action and pairing wine with fancy dishes that get the eater super damn high while still appealing to their classy tastebuds. It gives a whole new spin to pot luck and pot-tatoes. I just can’t wait for the stoner Chef Ramsay. Let’s take to Twitter and see what they have to say about the trend.

i want chicken marijuana pasta

— drews bitch™ ((51)) (@tmzjuarez) April 21, 2017

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Toasted Tweets | April 19, 2017

I heard a rumor about pot. I heard it makes you happy, love puppy pics and want to roll down hills of fresh cut grass into piles of leaves, laughing, like a child again. I heard it smells as enticing as a pie, and makes you want to eat one, too. I heard that Obama smoked weed. I heard that George Washington smoked weed! I heard that weed is GOOD for you. I heard that hemp is one of the world’s strongest fibers. Truth or fiction? Who knows? But we hear lots of interesting things about this sweet weed, don’t we? What else have “we” heard? Care to share your own hearings? Tweet em out with the hashtag #IHeardPot. And HAPPY 4/20!!!

It’s 420 eve y’all remember to leave out milk and cookies for Snoop Dogg

— joshua (@JoshAbenojaa) April 19, 2017

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