California Businessman Believes the Smell of Marijuana Hurts Wine Grapes

Robert “Pat” Patrick is the CEO of the local chamber of commerce in Lodi, California, a stretch of the state’s agricultural heartland that, in recent years, has made a name for itself as a nascent winemaking region.

It’ll never be Napa or Sonoma, but brother, if you’ve ever taken a sip of red wine and been greeted by a bold flavor explosion—like drinking a jam sandwich, made by an overcompensating Guy Fieri, borrowing Sam Elliott’s boots right after a 100-mile horseback ride through a tobacco juice swamp—you know the pleasures of a Lodi Zinfandel.

Grapes are a big deal here—in 2015, Lodi was Wine Enthusiast magazine’s “Wine Region of the Year”!—so Patrick will predictably take unkindly to anything threatening the area’s 110,000 acres of vineyards. Like marijuana fields, the smell of which, according to Patrick, can permeate the skin of a wine grape and render it less valuable.

Read more at High Times

Man Lights Up a Joint in Portland Courtroom, Disrupts Murder Trial

Thomas Paine, one of the Founding Fathers, said: “Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.”

It became apparent that one young man’s garden lacked that flower when he lit up a joint in a courtroom in Portland, Oregon during the hearing of a tragic shooting death of a 17-year-old boy.

The 30-something smoker apparently thought it was cool because, after all, weed is legal in Oregon, right?

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Cards Against Humanity Releases ‘Weed Pack’ to Support Legalization

The deadeye mission to bring the scourge of marijuana prohibition to a screeching halt in the state of Illinois is hoping to attract a legion of support from all of the “horrible people” that relish in party games for the offensive and savoir faire… or at least one in particular.

The Chicago-based company behind the popular game Cards Against Humanity has joined the battle to legalize the leaf in the Land of Lincoln, recently issuing a $5 Cards Against Humanity “Weed Pack,” which will assist in the funding of marijuana legalization efforts next year.

In fact, all of the proceeds from this version of the card game are being donated to the Marijuana Policy Project (MPP), according to a report from NBC Chicago.

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Kanye West’s Insurance Claims Weed Caused Last Year’s Massive Meltdown

2016 was a weird year for us all. It was much weirder for Kanye West.

There he was, chained to a floating stage, flying across America during the Saint Pablo tour—the “greatest rap tour of all time,” as the Daily Dot gushed—Yeezus literally hovering over massive crowds packing the country’s biggest arenas.

And then there he was, standing on a floating stage, supporting Donald Trump’s border wall and endorsing Donald Trump—that is, had Kanye bothered to vote—and standing up fans in L.A., canceling a make-up show a few hours before it was set to begin and walking out of a show in Sacramento after just a half hour, most of which was spent yelling about Jay Z, Beyonce, Obama, Hillary—whoever, whatever.

Read more at High Times

Police Discover 2 Pounds of Pot in Cereal Boxes

Members of the St. Tammany Parish Sheriff’s Highway Enforcement Unit in Louisiana arrested a California man in possession of approximately two pounds of high-grade marijuana, hidden in cereal boxes, following a recent traffic stop on Interstate 12.

According to St. Tammany Parish Sheriff’s Office’s Facebook page, deputies initiated a traffic stop early Tuesday morning, after observing a rental car with a California license plate driving eastbound on Interstate 12 at a rate of 86 miles per hour. The driver, Donald Roots-Scott Jr., age 23, of Sacramento, admitted to deputies that his driver’s license was expired and that he had marijuana inside the vehicle.

A search of the vehicle resulted in the seizure of approximately two pounds of marijuana. The weed was hidden inside two cereal boxes—Honey Nut Cheerios and Captain Crunch—which were sitting on the rear seat of the vehicle. Roots-Scott told deputies he was transporting the marijuana for distribution in nearby Mississippi.

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Donald Trump Calls New Hampshire a “Drug-Infested Den” During Talk with Mexican President

The Washington Post has obtained transcripts of two “get-to-know-you” phone conversations Trump had with foreign leaders shortly after he was inaugurated: one with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and another with Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull.

Both phone calls turned contentious and embarrassing—a sign of what was to come with the erratic loser of the popular vote, Donald Trump.

In his heated conversation with President Peña Nieto, Trump blasted Mexico’s president over the flow of illegal drugs across the border into the U.S., according to a transcript of the call, published by the Washington Post.

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What An Ass: Man Arrested for Bestiality Blames Weed

Everett Lee Compton, 49, has been charged with multiple counts of bestiality for allegedly having sex with a female donkey.

Compton, of Siloam Springs in Benton County, Arkansas, has been charged with bestiality, after police say he was recorded on a surveillance camera having intercourse with a local family’s pet donkey, on multiple occasions, this summer.

Preposterously, Compton blamed the bestiality on his marijuana habit!

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Cannabis-Loving Catholics Plan to Defy Church, Burn Marijuana Oil Inside DC Basilica

If you were thinking about checking out the very rare total solar eclipse next month, and you haven’t yet booked a flight or hotel accommodations for destinations like Oregon, Tennessee or points in between where the sun’s temporary concealment behind the moon will be visible on Aug. 21, sorry: you’re a few years too late. Better luck next century.

But if you did have such unrealized designs, and you’re in the Washington, D.C. area on that fateful day, take heart! You can celebrate this celestial milestone with the peculiar sect of Christians convinced the Bible is full of marijuana—and burn some cannabis oil inside the country’s largest Roman Catholic church.

Based in Rhode Island, the Healing Church and its adherents believe that cannabis is central to the Christian Bible. Jesus was anointed with marijuana oil, and on the cloak of the Virgin Mary, visible anywhere the Lady of Guadalupe can be seen, there’s a four-pointed flower—a cannabis flower.

Read more at High Times

Inmate Craps Out Drugs, Informs Guards That He Just Dropped an Eight Ball

We’ve heard of dropping a deuce, but never an 8-ball.

According to a somewhat disturbing report from the folks at MassLive, a Massachusetts man on a pesky jailhouse siesta at the Hampshire County Jail and House of Correction was caught earlier this month with a cornucopia of dope stashed in his guts.

It seems that either an inmate or an informant on the outside told police that 36-year-old Michael D. Olmstead, who was doing time for a parole violation, was sitting on a hefty stash of controlled substances. When prison guards showed up to search his cell, they quickly realized that the tip was meant to be quite literal, as they discovered “plastic cellophane” containing heroin, crack and even a nice supply of Klonopins dangling out of his ass.

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No, Malia Obama Was Not Fired by the U.S. Embassy in Spain for Smoking Weed

Don’t the anti-Obama racists ever get tired of bashing the former First Family? It seems not.

The latest lie to hit cyberspace is that Malia Obama had gotten fired from her internship at the U.S. Embassy in Madrid, unceremoniously escorted out and sent home.

Although it was widely reposted and shared on social media as if factual, the report is entirely fictitious, confirms Snopes.

Read more at High Times